Molly, the Alaskan Malamute, was not your average dog. She was a canine Einstein, a four-legged Usain Bolt, and a furry Oprah Winfrey all rolled into one. She was also the only dog in the neighborhood who could solve a Rubik’s cube, run a marathon, and host a talk show. Okay, maybe not the talk show part, but she was definitely smarter than your average pooch.

Now, Molly had a human. A small, quiet, bespectacled human named Timmy. Timmy was a good kid, but he had a problem. A big, mean, bully-shaped problem named Billy. Billy was the kind of kid who would steal your lunch money, give you a wedgie, and then laugh about it with his equally mean friends. He was the bane of Timmy’s existence.

One day, after a particularly nasty encounter with Billy, Timmy came home crying. Molly, being the intelligent, active, outgoing dog that she was, immediately knew something was wrong. She tried to cheer Timmy up by doing her best impression of a dancing bear, but even that didn’t work. Timmy just buried his face in Molly’s fur and sobbed.

Now, Molly might not have understood the complexities of human social dynamics, but she knew one thing: no one made her human cry and got away with it. So, she decided to take matters into her own paws.

The next day, Molly followed Timmy to school. She hid behind trees and bushes, watching as Billy and his gang cornered Timmy in the playground. She saw Billy push Timmy to the ground and heard him laugh. That was the last straw.

With a growl that would have made a grizzly bear proud, Molly leaped out from her hiding place and charged towards Billy. Now, if you’ve never seen an Alaskan Malamute running at full speed, let me tell you, it’s a sight to behold. It’s like watching a furry missile being launched. Billy didn’t stand a chance.

Molly bowled Billy over, sending him sprawling on the ground. Then, she stood over him, growling and showing her teeth. Billy, who was used to being the bully, was now the one being bullied. He looked terrified. His friends, seeing their leader being dominated by a dog, quickly ran away.

Molly then turned to Timmy, who was watching the whole scene with wide eyes. She trotted over to him and licked his face, as if to say, “Don’t worry, I’ve got your back.”

From that day forward, Billy never bothered Timmy again. In fact, he was so scared of Molly that he even started being nice to Timmy. Molly, of course, continued to be the intelligent, active, outgoing dog that she was. She also added ‘bully deterrent’ to her list of skills.

So, the moral of the story is this: if you’re a bully, beware of Alaskan Malamutes. They might just be smarter, faster, and more outgoing than you. And if you’re a kid being bullied, remember that you’re not alone. There’s always someone, or in this case, some dog, who’s got your back.

And as for Molly and Timmy, they lived happily ever after. Well, as happily as one can live with a dog who thinks she’s a dancing bear. But that’s a story for another time.