Once upon a time, in a world where fairy tales are as twisted as a politician’s promise, there lived three little pigs. Now, these weren’t your average, run-of-the-mill, bacon-in-the-making pigs. No, these were pigs with a twist. They were in a polyamorous relationship. Yes, you heard it right. A love triangle that would make even the most liberal of us blush.

The first pig, let’s call him Bob, was the intellectual of the group. He was the one who came up with the idea of polyamory in the first place. He had read about it in some obscure, self-help book he found in the dumpster behind the local library. Bob was always coming up with these harebrained ideas. He was the one who suggested they build their houses out of straw, sticks, and bricks. I mean, who does that?

The second pig, let’s call him Larry, was the romantic. He was the one who kept the love alive in their unconventional relationship. Larry was always coming up with romantic gestures like candlelit dinners and surprise trips to the mud bath. He was also the one who suggested they move to the countryside to live a simple life away from the judgmental eyes of society. Larry was a dreamer, but his dreams often ended up in a pile of rubble, just like his stick house.

The third pig, let’s call him Harry, was the realist. He was the one who kept them grounded. Harry was always the voice of reason in their chaotic lives. He was the one who suggested they build their house out of bricks, a decision that saved their bacon when the big bad wolf came knocking. Harry was the glue that held their unconventional relationship together.

Now, you might be wondering how this polyamorous relationship worked. Well, it was as complicated as a Rubik’s cube and as messy as a pigsty. There were arguments, jealousy, and a lot of mud-slinging. But at the end of the day, they were three pigs in love.

Bob, with his intellectual charm, would woo Larry and Harry with his philosophical discussions about the meaning of life and the importance of free love. Larry, with his romantic gestures, would keep the spark alive in their relationship. And Harry, with his practical approach to life, would keep them safe from the big bad wolves of the world.

Their relationship was unconventional, to say the least. But it was their relationship, and they wouldn’t have it any other way. They were three little pigs in a polyamorous relationship, living in a world that didn’t understand them. But they didn’t care. They had each other, and that was all that mattered.

So, the next time you hear the story of the three little pigs, remember this twisted version. Remember Bob, Larry, and Harry, the three little pigs who dared to love differently. And remember that love comes in all shapes and sizes, even in the shape of three little pigs in a polyamorous relationship.

And if you’re wondering what happened to the big bad wolf, well, let’s just say he learned a valuable lesson about messing with pigs in love. But that’s a story for another day. For now, let’s just say that love conquers all, even in the most unconventional of relationships.

So, here’s to Bob, Larry, and Harry, the three little pigs who dared to love differently. May their story inspire us all to love freely and without judgment. After all, love is love, no matter how you slice it. Or in this case, no matter how you roast it.