(Verse 1)
Sittin’ in the pool, under the sun so bright,
Feelin’ something cool, oh, it just ain’t right.
A sudden twist in the belly, a shiver down the spine,
Oh, it’s that old familiar feeling, it’s that old familiar sign.

(Chorus)
Diarrhea, oh, diarrhea,
Ain’t nothin’ fun about this hysteria.
When you’re slidin’ into first,
And you feel something burst,
Diarrhea, oh, diarrhea.

(Verse 2)
Sittin’ on the pot, in the middle of the night,
Feelin’ something hot, oh, it’s a terrible sight.
A sudden rush, a sudden fear,
Oh, it’s that old familiar feeling, it’s that old familiar tear.

(Chorus)
Diarrhea, oh, diarrhea,
Ain’t nothin’ fun about this hysteria.
When you’re slidin’ into first,
And you feel something burst,
Diarrhea, oh, diarrhea.

(Bridge)
It’s a race against time, it’s a battle of the wills,
It’s a dance with the devil, it’s a test of your skills.
But we’ve all been there, oh, we’ve all felt the pain,
When you’re slidin’ into first, and it starts to rain.

(Chorus)
Diarrhea, oh, diarrhea,
Ain’t nothin’ fun about this hysteria.
When you’re slidin’ into first,
And you feel something burst,
Diarrhea, oh, diarrhea.

(Outro)
So here’s to the brave, here’s to the strong,
Here’s to the ones who’ve been dealing all along.
With the sudden twists and turns, with the sudden ups and downs,
When you’re slidin’ into first, and you’re wearing the crown.
Diarrhea, oh, diarrhea.